Monday, April 4, 2016

Descending into hell-part two

The van arrived at the rehab, about 45 minutes after leaving the hospital. The two deputies, helped me out of the van, escorted me inside the rehab, signed me in , took the handcuffs off of me, and away they went. The receptionist, told me to have a seat, that someone would be to get me shortly. Twenty minutes passed, then a man walked up in front of me. Are you Denise Oldham? I said, yes, I am. He said, come with me. He took me to an empty room, and told me to have a seat. I sat down, and he began to question me. Gave me a stack of papers to read, and sign. When I was finished, he took the papers, and left. A woman walked into the room, asked me if I wanted something to eat, or drink. I told her thanks, but no thanks. I was still feeling sick at my stomach. I asked her for a bucket, I knew I was going to throw up. As soon as she handed me the bucket, I started throwing up. She brought me a diet coke with ice, and a straw. I tried to drink some of it, because I was very thirsty. But, could not keep any of it down . Another man walked in the room, told the woman that my room was ready. He walked me down a long hallway, without my walker, it was a very long, slow walk. We finally reached our destination, my room. He showed me a small locker, with no lock, where I could put my clothes whenever I got them. I said, when can I call someone to bring me some clothes? He said, we will let your husband bring some this evening, and leave them at the desk for you, we will have to look through all of them first, then you can have them. Then, he took me to the laundrey room, and showed me how everything worked. We went back to my room, and he introduced me to my roommate. He left, suddenly my roommate was not so sweet anymore. She stepped in front of me, and said, that is your bed, pointed to the bed on the left, and that is my bed, pointed to the bed on the right. We share the locker space, and there is only one bathroom. Got it?? I said, yes, I understand your space, my space. I promise not to get in your way, or bother you. Bed?? I definitely would not call it a bed. There was no mattress, or box spring, only a box!! A hard, cardboard box. With one sheet, and a very thin blanket. I froze the entire time I was there. There was one thin pillow, with a little pillowcase. The lady came back, and took me down the hallway to see the medical doctor. He asked me several questions, examined me, and drew several tubes of blood from me. He walked me back to my room, took my temperature, checked my pulse, and blood pressure. He said that since this was my first day, and I was not feeling well, and did not have my walker with me, I could just rest. He left, the nurse came in with some medicines for me to take, she left, I laid down on my little box, put the covers over me, and went to sleep. Later, they woke me up, put me in a wheelchair, and pushed me down to the dining room. It was dinner time, but I still was not able to eat, or drink. I was introduced to several of the other patients. I was so nervous, and scared. I was not sure how to act. I was told by several of the other patients, that they knew why I was there. They said, you tried to kill yourself. How did you do it? Why did you do  it? Are you married, do you have any children? Do you drink, or do any drugs? I did not want to answer their questions, just wanted to be left alone, just wanted to get better. I wanted to see my family, I wanted to go home. Wanted to see my sweet little fur baby coco.   I found out my roommate was an alcoholic, bless her heart. That night, I was allowed a three minute phone call, only one phone call. The phone was in the hallway, not to far from my room. I called my husband, started crying as soon as I heard his voice. I was still sitting in the wheelchair. When my time was up, I hung up, and started wheeling myself down the hallway to my room. I do not know what happened, but the next thing I remember, I hit the floor. Two nurses helped me up, and back into the wheelchair. Everyone was staring at me, very embarrassing. They kept asking me if I was ok, they said my speech was slurred. I had hurt my head too. They called an ambulance, and my husband. The ambulance picked me up, and took me to the hospital. Once I got there, they did x-rays, a ct scan, a spinal tap, and blood work. They said I had a slight concussion, and kept me overnight. The next day, they took me back to rehab. They moved me to a different floor, different roommate. Same lovely box for my bed. My roommate was in there for alcoholism, crack, and meth. She was truly messed up. She had lost her children, and when she got out of rehab, she did not get to go home, had to go to a halfway house. My heart hurt for everyone there, so many broken lives. Broken hearts, broken dreams, lost souls. We all looked like the walking dead, walking the hallways, looking for a sign of our former lives. I prayed for everyone, and tried to be an encourager while I was there. They all started calling me Aunt Nesie. I was quick to share a smile, or hug. We had classes everyday, with breakfast, lunch, and dinner in between. After dinner, we had our last class for the day. Then we could go into the break room, watch television, do puzzles, or play board games. We would get our night time medicines at 9, lights out at 10. While I was on that floor, I also had another bad fall. I was on my walker, my husband had brought my walker from home. I was in the break room, doing crossword puzzles. I got up, told everyone good night, and started walking toward the door. My walker started wobbling, I lost my balance, and down to the floor I went. My head started bleeding really bad on the left side, it hurt. They put an icepack on it for a few minutes. The nurse helped me to my room, put a towel on my pillow, and helped me to bed. The next day, my head looked aweful, badly swollen, and bruised. Visitation day was twice a week, for one hour. When my husband, and niece saw my head, it really upset them. My niece was so sweet, she got a wet paper towel, and got the dried blood off of my head. The rest of my stay was spent going to classes, talking to my counselor, and praying. Then, came the morning, that they told me I was going home. Woo Hoo!! I called my husband when I knew he would be home from work. I said, honey, can you please come get me?? He said, what? I said, I am free, I am coming home. He said, I will be there as soon as I can get there. He was there in just a few minutes. I hugged everyone goodbye, and wished them well. A nurse walked me down the hallway, through the double doors, and outside. I saw my husband standing by our car. I started crying, tears of joy, and relief. Praise God, I was going home!! Update coming next.      

20 comments:

  1. You are a strong woman! I wish the rehab had more of a loving atmosphere for it's residents, but you sound like you were a shining light for others while you were there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have a feeling you glossed over a lot with this post and I agree that you are a very strong person to survive your stay there, and also to be sharing your story here. Wish I could hug you in person!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. What a tough time that was for you, and yet you still found the strength to offer kindness to others. You are a good soul!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Even when it's what they need most, many people resist and resent help. As difficult as it can be, you took the help and got better, good for you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I've read your parts 1and 2 of your story and realize that you were saved for a reason, and God bless you for being honest and sharing your story.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I know you were glad to leave. I can't believe they did not take you to the hospital when you fell the second time. You could have had another concussion.
    I'm glad you are better.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Brave of you to share this harrowing period of your life. So glad you got through it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. What a nightmare, my sweet friend, for sure you needed much strength !
    Take care

    Dany

    ReplyDelete
  9. First: thank you for stopping by blog and for all of your kind comments. Second: I had to read a few of your posts to determine if you're a writer or were really sharing your life. I am so sorry for what you've gone through, I hope you are getting help. Rehab sounds horrible. God Bless!

    ReplyDelete
  10. My best wishes and blessings for you darling
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sounds like a scary thing to have to go through and yet you still thought of others.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hello,

    You sound like you have had a hard life but are looking to the Lord Jesus for your strength. Good for you. May He richly bless you as you continue to seek Him.

    Thank you for visiting and following my blog.

    :)Hope

    ReplyDelete
  13. I don't understand it, if you kept having these dizzy spells then, it seems that they wouldn't let you walk around, even with the walker. I don't know, I am not a nurse or a medical person or anything, it just seems logical. I like the comment above, you were still giving others encouragement and love even though you were so bad off. That's the Holy Spirit for you. xx

    ReplyDelete
  14. I am so sorry for what you have been through but happy that you did not succeed in taking your life. I hope you blogging about your experiences will help you to heal and recover from it all. Keep trusting in the Lord and He will help you through any struggles you might encounter in this life. Hugs Maggie

    ReplyDelete
  15. You are a terrific writer. You told your story so clearly and with just enough detail. Thank you for sharing your life.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hugs and prayers. I am glad you are home.

    ReplyDelete
  17. This place sounds horrible, the roomate, the cold...and, yet, you were a blessing there in the midst of your own struggles. God didn't give you up.

    ReplyDelete
  18. It does sound like you were a bright light in a sea of darkness.

    ReplyDelete
  19. When we have walked through the fire as you have, we know how blessed we are to come into the light. There is always, always something good to keep living for... your husband...coco... and to reach and teach others too! I am thankful that you survived those days, and that you are here now to share your story. I am eager to read more and find out how you're doing. HUGS
    Josie's Journal

    ReplyDelete