Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Tuesday@Ten-Forgive

1.
to grant pardon for, or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.
 2.
to grant pardon to (a person).
3.
to cease to feel resentment against:
to forgive one's enemies                                         As I read these definitions of the word forgive, my mind went back to the year 2003. That was the year my ex-stepfather died.  A few months after his death, I asked my mom if she had a picture of him, that she would give me. She gave me one, and then my husband drove me to the cemetery where he was buried. We walked up to his tombstone, and I began to shake like a leaf. My emotions were bouncing from anger to sadness. My husband walked back to our car, I asked him to let me do this alone. I took his picture, and laid it on top of the tombstone, and started talking to him. I said, why did you do what you did to me? Why? You sexually abused me, and then lied to everyone, making me look like a liar. I was yelling at him now! Why did you hurt me like that, I do not understand. You were my mom's husband. Then, my mom believed you, and not me. She kicked me out, I had to go live with my sister. You made my life a living hell. You are truly a monster. I will not allow you to continue haunting me from the grave. No more, no more!! Then, I took his picture, and burned it. As I sprinkled the ashes from his picture, over his grave, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and said, 'I forgive you'.

21 comments:

  1. I am sorry for the pain you have endured from the actions of your stepfather. You were so strong and brave to confront him this way. Perhaps now you can stop having to feel the hatred and hurt that has remained with you for so long. Please remember that there are those of us who care about you.

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  2. Denise, thank you for sharing this journey of forgiveness. I pray that you walk in the light of God's love for you today. Love you, your friend Jolene

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  3. Bless you for sharing this. As a family, my siblings and I are on a journey towards healing and peace from the traumas of our childhood - as short as they were. It IS a journey and slow and exhausting but worth it every bit. I will pray for your continued healing and I am so sorry this happened to you. You took back your power and that was a huge step. Keep speaking the truth in love. I do so admire you.....

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  4. I am so sorry that happened to you. No one should have to deal with that.
    Hugs

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  5. Sending a hug to you. To forgive something that horrible is noble. You had to feel a certain amount of freedom when you burned that photo. I'm so proud of you!

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  6. What a horror to live through. Bless you for your forgiveness, it releases you to grow and heal.

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  7. That was quite the testimony of how our God can work in a heart to release un-forgiveness, fear, anything that hinders us from drawing close to us. I know that feeling when I forgave my Dad, it has been an awesome feeling to no longer be tied to him but tied by the scarlett cord to my Savior. Wonderful post.

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  8. I'm so glad you were able to take this step in your journey to wellness and that he no longer has any power over you. God bless you.

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  9. I'm not sure that I could be as good as you to forgive such a thing. You are a strong woman.

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  10. great you could forgive. its not that easy, at least i am incapable of that, i may not have the power to seek revenge but i don't have the heart to forgive

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  11. Forgiveness is important part of our lives. But you gave me anther ideal ideal about posting about forgiveness.
    Coffee is on

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  12. Very brave of you to share this but even braver to confront your memories and try and put them to rest with forgiveness. It's easy to dwell on the past and get caught up in the what ifs and whys but it's gone. We can't go back and change it, only learn from it and try and use what we learn to make the present and future better. I hope your actions helped you and glad that you have a supportive hubby.

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  13. {{{Hugs}}} This made me cry inside and hurt for you. I am so sorry that he did such an awful thing to you and that your mama didn't believe you. :(

    I am glad that you were able to forgive him. This is a very hard thing to do some times. I read in an article yesterday where a preacher back home's wife had been killed. He said that he knew forgiving wasn't a feeling, but an action that he had to take because if feelings entered into it, the men that killed his wife an unborn baby would never be forgiven by him. He said he had to wake up each day and make the choice to forgive their killers.

    I don't know what has to be done to truly forgive someone. There are people that I need to forgive, but I don't know how to do it or how to know that I've fully done it. No one is ever able to answer my questions.

    Thank you for your post. You're in my prayers. {{{Hugs}}}

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  14. Forgiveness is a healing thing and not always easy at all. Good for the body and the soul!

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  15. Oh Denise, such a brave thing you did. Such a freeing thing. I pray that God continues to restore and heal you of those hurts.
    God bless
    Tracy

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  16. I'm so very sorry you had to go through that. What a tragic and painful experience.

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  17. In doing so you took the first step in your healing from this atrocity. Forgiveness is not so much for those who committed an offense as it is a release for the victim, a dispensing of the anger and control that act has had over us. It doesn't make it ok, it simply says I am done with it, I am moving on. I am proud of you for finding the courage to do that. Forgiveness brings peace.

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  18. Very well said and done. I also was sexually abused as a child by my father. I know how painful it is and how it changes you. God Bless You.

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  19. Oh Denise! You have lived quite the life, and you still have such strong faith! I admire you, sweet friend! You are amazing! <3

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